This was the very first full stand-up special I ever watched! It was so exhilarating to watch Robin go wild with every routine and doing a thousand different accents and drop so many f-bombs and s-bombs. Not to mention how sweaty he got throughout the performance!
If you want a linguistic adventure, go drink with a Scotsman. Cause you can't understand him before. You land in Scotland, "Dude la in way. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. begin yeah. Fuk yah born la bored. Lick la luck in yeah. Sure. Fook yah. Sure eh? Creeks luck on the floor butt yeah eh. Oh sure. You dumb fookin bastards. You realize i'm here."
And then you realize how drunk they get. They wear a skirt, and not care. And all they can invent is a sport like golf, "Here's my idea for fookin sport. I knock a ball in a golfer hole."
"Oh you mean like pool?"
"Fuk off pool. Not with a straight stick, but with a fuk up stick. I whack uh ball, and goes in a golfer hole."
Oh, you mean like croquet?
"Fuk croquet. I put the hole hundreds a yards away. Oh fukin yeah. It's great fun eh."
Oh, like a bowling thing?
"Oh Fuk nooooo! Not thing? I put shit in a way like trees and bushes and high grass, so you can lose your fukin ball. Then go whacking away with giant iron. Whacking away with each time you miss like you are about to have a stroke. Fuk! That's what we'll call it. A stroke. cause Every time you miss, you feel like you going to fukin die. Oh fukin! This going to be brilliant. Straight at the end, I'm going to put a flat piece with a little flag - to give you fukin hope. But then I put a pool and a sand box to fuk with you balls again. I'll be there trashing your ass, jerking away in the sand – ah-ha.”
And you do this one time?
"Fuk no! 18 fukin times."
There you have a sport! The manly sport of golf, where you can dress like a pimp and no one will care. Where even a blind gay man would go, “Oh, dear Christ! Those are loud, this is not carnival! What the fuck are you on?”
Even the alligators going, “Ass hole!”
And you get in there – It’s such an exciting athletic sport, too: whack the ball, get in the cart, whack the ball, get in the cart.
And the commentary’s electrifying. Just aside of curling for really getting me going.
“We’re on the third green now. Could people be quieter, I’d like to hear the grass grow.”
I want the guy who does Mexican soccer to do golf one time. “The ball is rolling, the ball is going to the… Hoooooooooooooooooooole! Oh lay!”
Just to see all those ol Washington motherfuckers go: “Oh, dear Christ! My God, they’re not gardening, they’re playing now, oh, shit!” What the hell we gonna do?”
Because that was their last domain of dominance. It was their area. They were the king, up until Tiger! Yes! Son of a black man and a Thai woman; not even a German geneticist could’ve thought than one up! Black athletic ability, Buddhist concentration; Chi-Thai. ki-toi. bu-toi.
Crouching putter. And then he goes to the British Open, and he plays at St. Andrews, where they fucking invented the sport. And after the 4th round, he’s 18 under par, and there’s only 18 fucking holes. And all the old men going, “Oh, my God, we’re doomed! How did he learn to play? We wouldn’t have let him join. Dear god.” And they start having nightmares of golf carts going:
[Beat Box Bass]
Yo, yo, yo, I’m playing through
Whether you’re gentile or a Jew
Purple Beats, motherfucker!
The only other comedian that's ALMOST as good in Dave Chappelle and Ron white but this is the ONLY bit/s that make me ROFL. I wonder if he has cocaine in the water bottles cuz you come down after 10 Mins and chase it forever
I'm from Glasgow born and bred and without a doubt this is my favourite Robin Williams skit.He gets it.. we're all nuts to people brought up on English... he understood:Scottish is The first derivative of English.If you think that's tricky... try Gaelic...... "fuck no, we put shit in the way"man was a genius of comedy.. Rest in Peace Robin, you lit
up lives:Thankyou Captain.
When addiction meets creativity. Like a volcano that will erupt until the pressure is gone. Robin, a Genius. Addiction, fissures and lava flow. Piss-poor analogy, but accurate. He created an unmatched style, regardless of his human problems.
Correction: Here is the origin of golf:
Dude 1: *sloshed* Hey...dude...imma take this ball...and this stick....And I'm gonna hit the ball through some chunk's window.
Dude 2: *also sloshed* Dude....Do it.
i wonder what he did he couldn't forgive himself he finally admited death is your only punishement,,,its the only thing i can think of,,he was rich he had a family he had rich friends he had a rich life,,to throw that away,,it had to be an unimaginable amount of guilt in his heart...death was the only way...
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